don't click here

Win Sonic Mania

Would you like to see more contests like this in the future?

  • Yeah! This is great!

    Votes: 16 88.9%
  • No, this is corny and stupid.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I don't care/I hate Sonic Mania anyway

    Votes: 2 11.1%

  • Total voters
    18
  • Poll closed .

Perfect Chaos Zero

Green Hill Zone
Apr 26, 2017
28
32
28
Gonna give away a copy of Mania on steam. If you win, I'll send it to you or the person of your choice. The contest is simple. Write a funny Eggman or Knuckles short story. Bonus points if it's Eggman and Knuckles. Short story can be whatever length you want, but can only include characters or badniks from 1, 2, 3, K and CD. You may add graphical or visual aids, graphics, even audio if you want, so long as you're telling a story of some sort. Deadline for entries is 1 pm PST, 8/29/2017. All entries must be posted here. Please keep things PG-13 or below in terms of content.

All stories will be judged on how FUNNY they are, effort put in and over all quality.

teemo_is_on_duty__by_luciedesigns-d64gkac.png
 

SlumberGlss

Nintender? Who's that?
Aug 29, 2017
52
16
43
Already pre-ordered mania, so i am gonna pass.
Although, i want to see more contests like this in the future.
 

Perfect Chaos Zero

Green Hill Zone
Apr 26, 2017
28
32
28
Any length, any format. Just tell a story, be PG-13, nothing racist or offensive obviously and of course, be as funny as possible.
 
D

Deleted member 93

Guest
Mine is not that funny, but oh well here we go. Yes, so filthy language

...*one hot day in Angel Island*



"Well this fucking sucks" shouted knuckles while he pounded the ground. "It's 149 degrees out, and I can not do anything today! I can not swim, beat the shit out of a cactus, or maul a fish in the ocean! Today can only get worse..." While knackles was shouting his rant, a talking egg called "Doctor Eggman" decided to drop by knuckles place. Literally. "Huh, what that sound?" Questioned knuckles. Before he got another sound out, Eggs For The Man had crashed through his roof. " FUCKING OH NO" Shreaked knuckles. "You know how much it costs to fix a roof in a secluded island in the middle of the ocean?!" "Oh shush down echidna swine. I have a solution for your problems! With this!" Eggman said with a smile in his voice. "This little pill will change everything! It will effect your mind and body in special ways. "Ooo" knuckles said. "So is it like sterioids, or will it give me a bigger dic-" "Get your mind out of the gutter! This thing will trick your body to think that the atmospheric tempature is cooler!" So...what is the side effects?" Knuckles pondered" "Well, the side effects are nausia levitation sudden urges to punch beehives erectile disfunction weebooism and various respritory viruses". "Well...kinda sad it will not make my sex life better, but for me to put my head in a beehive is amazing! Ill take it!". As he said that he took the pill and chewed it. "Oh shit knuckles...you should of not eaten the pill like that...I guess I will go now." Eggman then darts out of knuckles house stripping down to his underwear just to swim away from what will happen. "Oh no...I feel sick to my stomach..." Cried knuckles". In an instant, he found a clone of him. Then another, then another. "Oh fuck this. Its the knuckles thing all over again, and I have all these fakers who are gonna steal my bank account number!" Over a period of 5 minutes, an army of knuckles were born. They decided to walk right into the ocean to search for beehives? Oh I don't fucking know. Well, in the ocean, they did not recognized eachother, so they slaughtered eachother while raping and pillaging underwater volcanos. In the end, knuckles gets his sex life back, eggman became a fish, and the knuckles army drowned. The end.
 
  • Like
Reactions: B0M and Krebbit

B0M

Lilark
Aug 29, 2017
18
12
33
Dammit you used the knuckles duplication idea. Your story is rather hard to beat....

Can it involve mania spoilers?

Ok I've done my knuckles story.

Warning: Contains profanity and Sonic Mania spoilers.

It's been a wonderful day. Grass is green on Angel Island Zone Act 1, vines are perpetually swinging from the unlimited trees and birbs are chirping... robotic birbs. Among all pointless instances, here lies Knuckles contemplating his life choices as he stands guard of the master emerald in Hidden Palace Zone. Looking ahead, he sees the entrance to the zone from Lava Reef Zone Act 2 and reminisces of his defeat from Sonic. Hyper Sonic had won against him by knucking him down against an invisible wall just by standing there. Great way to start a friendship.

The echidna heard a strange whining sound and looked above. A new unknown emerald casually floated down onto Knuckles' hands, because SEGA developers can't think of any other object that would hold great power. A face which lacked a nose, unrealistically came to formation on the surface of the mysterious emerald (the emerald in which you should all now know what I'm talking about if you've even played a bit of Sonic Mania). It spoke...
"HEY degenerate prickhead in a red furry suit, make one wish."
Knuckles who was dazzled, vomited out a fidget spinner, spun it and placed it on one of the super emeralds to determine whether he was either having a wet pipe dream or not. The super emerald, out of cringe due to the presence of a fidget spinner in a sonic game, cracked. The spinner stopped spinning. The other super emeralds out of peer-pressure, cracked as well. Knuckles realising it was reality, did some more intensive thonking until he realised what he needed most in his life. A companion.

Without second thought he yelled in a deep voice... slowly... saying...
"I... waaaaaannnt... &&&&&&&& K N U C K L E SSSSSSSS."
At an instant, the emerald jumped out of his hand and floated in the air. It spun rapidly and at that moment, Knuckles' were spawning all over the place in Hidden Palace Zone. They were aimlessly climbing on walls, gliding under the ceiling, and bumping into each other. He was amazed by what he saw. It was... pure beauty.

Eggman crashed through the ceiling of Hidden Palace Zone after detecting a powerful energy reading, destroying some of the ancient architecture in which knuckles never understood nor cared about. Robotnik saw all the Knuckles scrambling about in Hidden Palace Zone and said,
"What the fuck."
He got his eggrobo henchmen and began shooting the knuckles' roaming around. Screams of "OH NO" filled the air, as knuckles' were being disintegrated into burnt knuckles'. Some escaped the palace through to Lava Reef Zone Act 2 and Sky Sanctuary Zone. Knuckles included. With the gem in his hand, he tried to undo what had happened. Instead, the gem inverted the colours of everything around him for dramatic effect, and teleported him to the beginning of Angel Island Zone Act 1. Freaked out, he hid the gem in the ground. "Ok... ok.... that's enough.... hehe job done no one will ever find this." And then & knuckles fell on top of Knuckles. Looking lost, it decided to aimlessly follow Knuckles. "Go away you freak of a clone. What kind of sick person would want a companion looking exactly like them?". The ground trembled. Looking back, he saw eggrobos with a large claw containing the mysterious gem he hid moments ago as they knucked him down. The mysterious sound of the gem then played again.

After a while, Knuckles opened his eyes and found himself & knuckles in Green Hill Zone Act 1. It was the beginning of Knuckles & knuckles journey in Sonic Mania...[\spoiler]
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 93

Misinko

Feel the the fire! Break your vision!
Aug 29, 2017
41
14
28
24
To many, the legend of South Island is just that, a legend. Few have been able to voyage out to the island, and fewer still have made it back to tell their tale. So many believe the landmass simply doesn’t exist. It appears as a mirage every so often, and that’s it. It’s even harder for them to believe that 6 magical gems exist on the Island. Among those ranks is a small, red echidna named Knuckles. Born with strange, nail-like protrusions on his clubbed hands, he makes his living hunting treasure, which some say has become somewhat of a sixth sense to him. Every day, he ventures out into the wilderness, and comes back into town with sacks full of precious gems. Some claim that he steals the gems from innocent passer-bys, but many more claim he can “feel” the gems deep within the Earth. He cares not who thinks what of him, though, for he dislikes civilization in general. The deep damp fauna of the jungle hides his home: a small shack partially built into carved-out rock, with only a few sticks and leaves protecting him from the harsh elements. He has sworn to never harm another being who lives alongside him, and instead eats the fruits that the jungle generously gives him. On occasion, some venture into the forest intending to challenge him, or potentially catch him off guard, and rob him of the gems he digs up. They run screaming out of the jungle, far worse for wear, claiming that the small echidna is mad. He is a humble being, and never keeps the capital he gains from the gems. Instead he gives it away to local tribes, who cannot find a steady source of food or clothing to provide for the whole of their groups. While he has a hard outwards appearance, deep down he is a kind soul who is quick to trust.


And these traits make him tantalizing asset for Dr. Eggman to collect.


After recovering one of the six Chaos Emeralds from South Island, the doctor correctly figured that his arch nemeses, Sonic and Tails, would be hot on his trails to find the remaining five. The story of this young echidna had been passed onto him years ago, but he never gave them any sort’ve thought, as he never could see the use in using a live animal to do his work.

“But it might be good to have an actual pair of eyes and ears in the field,” the doctor thought to himself. “And the echidna might be able to maneuver around the island far better than my robots ever could!” The next day, Eggman trekked out to Knuckles’ home island, disguised as a traveler with a single robot bodyguard in case things went sour. After some poking around, the doctor was pointed in the general direction of the echidna’s hut, and off he went to strike a deal. The thick, natural, unkemptness of the jungle floor was no match for the sharpened steel of his bodyguard. As it cut down weed after weed, the forest seemed to cry out to Knuckles, who quickly took note of the intruders. When the doctor finally reached the echidna’s hut, they spotted him a little ways off, meditating near a cliff side, seemingly totally at peace. But suddenly, Knuckles grabbed a hefty stone that he had close by, and hurled it at the doctor with an incredible speed, barely missing him as the robot caught it just before it hit the doctor’s face. He was immediately impressed at both the echidna’s raw strength, and his bravery, as he failed to flinch when the hunk of steel crushed the stone in its cold hand.

“Leave this place, now,” Knuckles threatened.

“How rude!” the doctor retorted in mock offense. “Is that any way to treat a guest in your home?”

“I don’t like ‘guests’ who tear up this jungle.”
“My deepest apologizes for my friend’s actions! He doesn’t quite have a mind of his own, you see? A friend of mine built him, and I can’t quite get through that thick skull of his. I commanded, shouted, and pleaded for him to leave the wildlife alone, but it was to no avail.”

“Hmph,” Knuckles huffed, unconvinced. “I still want you gone. I won’t have folks like you hurting this place.”
“Ah, but what if I promise to keep myself, and my friend in check?”
“I won’t ask you again.”

“You’d be missing out on a huge opportunity, m’boy. You see, I-”

In an instant, the echidna had appeared in front of the robot, and drove his fist through its metal frame with a mighty cry. The doctor jumped back in shock, still struggling to process what had just happened. The steel hunk staggered a few steps backwards, before he collapsed to the ground with huge jets of electricity rippling out of the whole.

“Get out of my territory, now!”

The doctor struggled to compose himself for a few seconds, but soon thought he had come too far to back down now.

“You just annihilated my colleague prized ‘bot,” he cried in fake anger. “And you expect me to just leave without so much as a word of protest? Do you know how long it took him to build that?”
“I don-”
“Decades! Decades honing this metal monstrosity, and thousands in grants alongside his own capital, and for what? For some short-tempered, spiney brat to obliterate it without a second thought!”
“O-oh…” Knuckles muttered as his rage cooled. “I didn-”
“What am I to say to him now? How could I ever hope to explain this to him? I assured him that I’d bring his pride and joy back to him in one piece before venturing out here to find you, and you’ve gone and smashed that dream to smithereens!” The doctor then put a finger to his temple, and sighed dramatically. “Oh well. I suppose I’ll just have to help him build a new one. I doubt we’ll have enough to afford the parts though. We barely scraped by the last ti-”

“Enough!” Knuckles interrupted. “Here, I’ll make it up to you. Follow me, I’ll take you to a huge stockpile of gems.” It was all the doctor could do to suppress a devilish grin, as he gestured for the echidna to lead the way.


The treck through the jungle was long and arduous. The fat doctor had stumbled and bounced along the trail multiple times up to that point, and was drenched from head to foot in sweat. He was about to call the whole thing off, before Knuckles stopped dead in his tracks. He began to feel along the ground for a few moments, occasionally pausing before resuming his odd ritual. Then suddenly, he pulled his fist back, and drove it into the ground. Eggman only had a moment to marvel at the created crater before Knuckles began rapidly striking the ground, drilling deeper and deeper into the cold dirt as he went. The doctor merely watched in awe, as the crunching of the dirt became the only indication that the echidna was still moving. Then, for a few moments, all went quiet, before the echidna popped his head back above ground with a massive pile of gems in tow. He dropped them at the egg-shaped man’s feet, who stared at the pile in amazement.

“Do you think that’ll be enough to cover the cost of a new robot?” the red echidna questioned.

“Actually,” Eggman began, positively giddy. “Forget the robot. In fact, you can keep these gems. I have something else in mind that I’d like you to do!”
“Uh… whatever you say doc. What’re you thinking?” In a near frenzy, the doctor pulled a small container from his coat, and pressed a small button resting on top. The layers of metal began to slowly peel back, as a strange warmth enveloped the jungle around them. Knuckles began to feel a strange energy surging inside him, and soon became terrified of what was going on. Finally, the container had shed the cloak enveloping the gem within, filling casting a brilliant yellow glow onto everything around them.

“Do you, by chance, know what this is, m’boy?”
“N-no, I don’t…” Knuckles replied with a quiver in his voice.

“This, is a Chaos Emerald!”

Knuckles nearly feel over in shock, for he had never seen or felt anything like this before.

“You’re lying!” he accused, finding his courage again. The doctor smiled at him.

“Am I?” he retorted, extending out his arm. “Take it, and see for yourself. Feel its warmth, its power.”

With trembling arms, the Echidna took the gem, and carefully observed it. It was surprisingly dense, but it felt lighter than a feather. A calming warmth spread through his arms, and trembled down his back. It seemed to pulse with raw power, and Knuckles swore he felt it whispering to him. Telling him he would be safe as long as he protected the gem. He felt stronger as he clutched at the Emerald, like he could break the planet in half with a single punch. Suddenly, he felt the Emerald being tugged away by the doctor. His grip tightened, and neither of the two moved until Knuckles reluctantly brought his hands to his side.

“During the last time South Island decided to pay us a visit,” the doctor began. “I managed to venture out to explore what wonders the land had to offer. Along my travels, I managed to find this little thing tucked away underneath some waterfall. I was just amazed as you were when I first saw it, and I was just about to grab it… before some troublesome hedgehog snatched it away from me.”
 

Misinko

Feel the the fire! Break your vision!
Aug 29, 2017
41
14
28
24
Double-post, because my story could not be contained in one.

Hedgehog? South Island?

Knuckles staggered back in shock, as he finally realized the man standing before him was the nefarious Dr. Eggman.

“How dare you come here!” he shouted, enraged. “I should’ve known it was you! I should’ve known you were the one who’s been capturing critters and turning them into robots!”

The doctor was suddenly stricken with a sense of panic and fear, and quickly began calculating his next move.

“S-surely you don’t believe those old rumors!” he squeaked. “The hedgehog is the one who-”

“Save it! I’m not gonna let you trick me again! Give me that Emerald, right now! I can’t just let someone like you use it for evil!”

“Let me explain you-!’ Eggman shouted, before realizing that would only fuel the fire more. He quickly collected himself, and attempted his lie again. “Have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘History is written by the victor”, my friend?”
“Yeah, what about it?” Knuckles retorted, some of his fury vanishing.

“Who exactly do you think told everyone that I’m this nature-hating villain?”
“The hedgehog...”

“Do you know why? Because I managed to recover one of the six Chaos Emeralds! And he knows that he cannot hope to get it back without first taking on me! So he’s spread these rumors about me so that folks like you would attack on sight, and so said folks would bring him my- I mean, the Chaos Emerald!”
Knuckles’ eyes widened in thought. The doctor was making sense, and nothing besides the robot made him seem like a bad guy.

“I didn’t think-”

“It’s alright, m’ boy. I don’t blame you for assuming the worst. There’s a reason I’m dressed like this, after all!”
“...How do I know I can trust you?”

The doctor pondered for a moment, then smiled as he offered the Emerald to Knuckles again.

“Here, you can hang on to the Emerald for the time being. It’ll help you find the other 5, too!”

Knuckles, bewildered once again, snatched the Emerald from Eggman’s hands, and held it close.

“...Fine then. You’ve got yourself a deal. What do you need me to do?”
“For now,” Eggman stated as a toothy grin etched itself across his face. “You can slow that pesky hedgehog down for me. He’s probably on South Island right now, scouring for the Emeralds. He’s blue, wears red sneakers, and runs at incredible speeds! You can’t miss him!”

“Sounds good to me. But how will I get there? I haven’t ever seen South Island, much less ventured out.”

“I’ll lend you one of my old hovercrafts. It’s not the fastest ship in the world, but it’ll get you from point A to point B.”
“Hmm. Sounds like a plan then Doc.”

The small echidna stretched out his hand, and the doctor gleefully shook it.

The hedgehog won’t know what hit him, he joyfully thought.
 

Perfect Chaos Zero

Green Hill Zone
Apr 26, 2017
28
32
28
Awesome stories guys!

B0Ms was definitely the funniest so he gets first prize.

Misinko's had a ton of effort though, so I just might give them a prize as well haha.
 

Perfect Chaos Zero

Green Hill Zone
Apr 26, 2017
28
32
28
Misinko's story definitely had the most effort, but B0M's story is the one that was the funniest. That being the case, I might just give both of them prizes haha.

B0M wins first place though cause his was funnier, although I really enjoyed Misinko's story, just wish it wrapped up a bit better/had more jokes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Misinko